Collide.

You are
the broken pieces
when your heart and mind
collide

You crumble
barely held together with nocturnal tears
hold it in
hold that smile

You cracked a smile
I cracked within
Just an act
from a seasoned actor

Wipe off that smile, just once
and cry if need be-
I'll smile for each of your tomorrow,
so you would smile with me-

Because I love you
and each of your broken pieces
when your heart and mine
collide.

No records.

Ended
before it even began.


The story of us
is sealed in a poetry mediocre
of mine


Nothing to make it
black and white


There will be no
marriage registration
purchase of a home
new birth certificates
vacation tickets
anything
to prove that we exist.


We are nothing more
than a one-sided poetry
that never made the record.


We are just a poetry-
that never made it to history.

At present.

At present
pulled from both sides-
of you, and me, till we perish
and to walk, to another island undiscovered.


At present
your name, in wishes kept in heavens
not of having you-
but of you beaming in bliss.


Like a flower
driven to grow between stones
I want you to thrive
to grow
more beautiful than you already are
at present.

The first time.

Through the glass doors

Hesitant steps

Doubtful eyes

Oh, pretty hijab. And shirt.

Whoa, simmer down the stress.

Damn girl, too loud!

Finally,

I found you.

I am walking, but

in my head, I am running

as if returning

from a war zone.

Face to face we sat

Bags unloaded

Urgency filled the air

And a feeling bloomed-

one I never knew

existed.

At home, at ease

All safe and sound.

Drowned.

Eternally silenced
by a voice in my head
"speak,
and you are nothing."


Speak, I shan't.
Selfish is me,
if I speak.


This reservoir of tears
will be forever dammed.


I have found comfort
in holding it in
that even my voice drowned.


On my side
on a pillow so strong, bearing
a mind heavy of noise and despair
knees to stomach
and arms folded
fighting the cold, within and without.


I am sorry, dear one; but
my voice is gone.

Unload.

A distance of 3 hours
and mother's worry
and privilege of time


kept us apart.


if we meet each other
will I crumble?

all the words
I am too weary to type
will you hear it?

my midnight tears
will they fall at your sight?


I just want to see you
and talk to you
until 3am becomes 4am
and so it ticks


I just want to fall apart before you.


Allow me to break before you now-
come dawn, I will rise with the Sun.

Remind me again.

"have you been gaining weight?"

Thank you

for reminding me

that I am fat.

I'm sorry, but the cakes are delicious.

that no guy will love me for me.

I'm sorry, that I am not pretty enough.

that it is the first thing noticed.

I'm sorry, I suck at making good impressions.

that the world only wants superficial things.

I'm sorry, I am not in the back of your head.

Will you jeer when I want to exercise?

Or will you cheer me on?

After all, the world wants

healthy sized girls.

I wish you didn't remind me

of what I can't be.

Tunes.

When Imagine Dragon's Amsterdam plays,
I remember how you wanted to go there.
When McFly's Love is Easy plays,
I remember how much you loved the band.
When Paramore's Still Into You plays,
I remember how you sang to it happily when you drive.

All these songs
they remind me of you,
and so I miss you-

but here
is where those words will remain.

How could a commoner
be with a prince?

I don't believe in fairy tales.

'are you okay?'

Just simple three words
'are you okay'
could shatter my guard.

There was no one
who has asked.

It is sad
that no one bothered to ask
as much as it is something to be proud of
that I am seen as strong enough
that no one bothered to ask.

Every moment, in pretence.
Everyday conflicted.
Forever untold.

Please don't ask-
the wall took me years,
and my answers are practised.

Just stay,
and I will be okay.

Fade into sunset.

I have lost
my knight
in rusty armour

And as I hear,

"where is my phone?"
"wait, what was I doing again?"
"I can't read this, too small"

I can hear her
fading away
into the sunset of her age.

It will happen again,
I can see it coming.

Silence.

if I tell you I love you
will you believe me?

if I tell you I won't hurt you
will you believe me?

if I tell you I won't leave you
will you believe me?

If I were you
I would not believe me

Promises, I believe them not
Promises, so precious yet fragile
Promises, they will break

Words
smooth like silk
dying in meaning

if this were the case
I would appreciate
a gift of comfortable silence, shared
between you and me.

after all,
you are here with me,
your hands warm on mine.

It does not wait.

For a pep talk.

For an 'are you okay'.

For a scar to seal.

For a trial to end.

The trouble never stops.

Life does not wait.

It would throw jabs at you

at your pride

your strength

your beliefs

all that you are,

to the death of you.

Life

shatters you

as much as it builds.

It does not wait.

You have

to keep soldier on.

The show.

I am an actor

of low nobility-

keeping up pretence.

When he flew away,

a hole is born.

One no loving man

could ever fill.

She loved me very much so;

her trust and faith in me

two I desperately desire

died with his departure.

I have lost one

here and there

A knife they entrusted me,

and with it, I slit their hearts.

They bleed, and I was scarred.

Guilt and faith

are at war.

I am a failing actor-

please pretend with me, that

I am okay.

So, how did I do?